12 Things You Should Know Before You Date a Super Hero

Dear Ladies,
     These days, you never know who you might fall in love with.  You may fall in love with a police officer, an acrobat, a serial killer, or even - in some cases- a superhero.  However before you start going out with your muscular man of might, here are some things you ought to know:

1. They have a long, sad backstory. 
     You will have to stay up many nights talking to and comforting your troubled boyfriend.  He will constantly be miserable and will spend hours sobbing to you about his past faults, the deaths of his family members, or the loss of his past girlfriends.  Get used to it and be ready to comfort him so that he doesn't go insane and wreck havoc on the city.

2. They will be at the gym... a lot.
     How else do they keep up that strong and tight appearance?

3. They might wear tights...
     I don't know who started this tradition.  Don't worry, though.  At least they aren't see-through :P

4. Getting along with their parents is rarely a problem you will face.
     Because they are often dead, or they are just really great people (in some cases, they are gods!).

5. They will spoil all of the movies for you.
     Seriously. Most of those movies are about THEM and their lives.

6. You will get lied to often.
     It's for your own good.
7. They will be loyal to you, until the end.
     (Which could be any time, really)
8. They are very romantic.
     Making out on the top of the World Trade Center, under the light of a very large moon, after they just defeated their arch nemesis and saved your life is VERY romantic.

9. They can be very narcissistic.
     If YOU saved thousands of people a week and looked like a Old Navy model, would you NOT be?
10. They are very good at making puns.
     This can be both a blessing and a curse.

11. They will turn evil at least once, if not twice.
     At some point in every hero's life, there comes the time when their mind is taken over by some alien force, their arch nemesis, a crazy scientist, etc. They will become uncontrollable, and will turn on their closest friends, even you.

12. You WILL get kidnapped.
     The first person that villains will capture to try and lure in your hero is you. Even if they don't know that you and the hero are a "thing," you will undoubtedly be the one who they capture. Get used to it.  It happens at least twice a week. Don't worry though, you will only die towards the end of the season/film, so enjoy your life while you still have it :)

And that, girls, is basically all you need to know about dating a Superhero.