Who You Really Need to Vote For this Year

     As Election Day draws to a close, I have come with a very important message!  THERE IS ANOTHER OPTION!  A new third party candidate has reared his scarred head on the very last day of voting.  Here is everything you need to know about our next POTUS, Anakin Skywalker.

     Coming from humble roots, Anakin was born a slave.  Many have questioned whether or not he was born in the United States and (... ngghhh...  yes... yes, Lord Vader...) "Anakin Skywalker was definitely born in the United States." So that settles that.

     Skywalker came into the public eye when it was discovered that he was, in fact, the one the prophecy had foretold would bring balance to the force.  Many questioned him, seeing his violent ways and reckless spirit, but I believe he is the man for the job.  He will bring balance to the force, and to our nation.
     Here is a short list of Skywalker's policies, aka "Skywalkernomics":
1.  Very much against foreign trade.  He freaking killed the entire Trade Federation. Twice.
2.  Very much against powerful terrorist groups, especially ones based out of deserts.  "I'll killed them all! And not just the men, but the women and the children too!" (Skywalker, 2016)
3.  Very anti-establishment. "In my opinion, the Jedi are evil." (Skywalker in an interview with Ewan McGregor)
4.  Very anti-sand. "I don't like sand. It's rough, irritating, and it gets everywhere.  Not like [in America]. Everything here is soft... and smooth..."
5.  Pro scientific advancement (especially in the area of cloning).
6.  Pro-choice.   He slaughtered the young-lings and even helped his wife with her abortion (although, it did fail, and she did die in childbirth).
      Outside of politics, Skywalker is a fun loving man.  his hobbies include: Pod racing, cutting pears with the Force,  bull riding, gladiator games, piloting and spending time with his two children.  "I know there's still good in him" says Luke Skywalker, Anakin's only son.
   

     So quit worrying about having to pick between the lesser of two evils and vote Skywalker!

"It is your destiny."- Skywalker